| | It is a deep yearning, a stinging pain, an endlessly growing fear, a paranoia that eats away at me. But there is the uncontainable vision of something new lying ahead, and that vision somehow manages to bag all the negativity up and transform it into a courage I've never experienced before. What lies ahead? Where is this path I'm paving leading to? I'm trying so hard to get rid of one of my greatest problems: indecision.
It is time to create a road, and stop idling because many paths seem equally as fulfilling. It is time to pave a new path that integrates as many of the other paths as possible. It is time to stop cowering from the future. I'm terrified. I'm so beyond terrified, and always push these thoughts away because they lead to anxiety. As I write this, actually, anxiety is attempting to take over me. This is big for me; this is huge. It is time to decide.
After that, it will be time to advance with all my strength in the direction I will have decided to go. The next few months of my life will, unless I cower to my defense mechanism of indecision again, be instrumental to all that I've been building towards. It is time to step out of the back seat, allowing impersonal and irrelevant-to-me goals of others drive me. I must take the wheel, and I must take it with passion. I will shiver, I will cry, I will be ridden with anxiety and fear, but at least I will have the wheel in my possession, in the way I should have always had it. It needs to be done, and it needs to begin now.
I will not settle for inactivity any longer. I will not settle for inactivity any longer. I will not settle for inactivity any longer. There isn't as much time as I foolishly thought there would be. Action, I embrace you. Ready, set, go. |
| | Posted 5/17/2009 7:13 PM - 3 Views
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