| | I can feel the music permeating my skin and vibrating into every cell of my body. It's a fuel to every crevice of me. All of the sweat, blood, and tears I form are fusing in a cascade of emotion, a magnificent flood of musical elevation. The highest mountains I scale, the darkest pathways I run through fearlessly. In the forest, I stand alone. The trees appear to be billowing over me, the midnight air allowing them the gift of ethereal motion. They seem to dance to the reverberation of music coming from inside my soul. The moonlight captures my heart; my brain is encapsulated by the beating of the drums. I can't imagine a sensory overload more intense than the moment I feel my bare feet sinking into the mud. I'm melting and becoming one with myself: the earth I am falling into slowly but steadily.
The song ends in my head but another begins, and my plight away from the glowing embers of hell continues. I smell the smoldering smoke in the wet, cold night air, but the road ahead of me is all I am allowed to focus on. Every experience tonight, captured by photographic memory, begins flowing in layers, and all of what makes me human becomes known. I blend in with the environment, with the world, and I'm not separate. For this moment, I am not separate. I never was. I've held a wall up, away from her, scared of what she possesses, but I have shattered it with the aid of the night air, the music, the trees that call me, the mud that is slowly consuming me whole.
The canopy of vegetation blends into the night sky in a portrait the most talented of humans cannot portray. The moon— it whispers secrets to the stars that I cannot interpret, only sense. The limitations of my humanity become more apparent, but they are in no way restrictive. It is not a bad sensation to understand that many mysteries lie beyond my cognition. It's not scary to imagine that I cannot analyze beyond a certain point. Apart from my mind lies a world I will not scale the landscape of, but that's okay. I am immensely grateful to be given the opportunity to experience what I feel now; there is nothing more that I could ever ask for. My mind begins to wander further:
Beneath our everyday lives lies the premise for something more. Moments that chip away at the ego lurk in the shadows of consciousness, waiting for any opportunity of release. Meditation, distress, boredom, realizations of finitude, psychoactive drugs, music, art, poetry, natural wonders, in-depth conversations, connections with other humans, reveries, and more, give way to the potential for transcendence, for opening up a world of experience not often perceived. The world we reside in, the flow of life we belong in, is not a mundane one. In fact, it's so overwhelmingly beautiful, so humble, so righteous, so filled with potentiality that we may overlook what is in clear sight. This belief has manifested itself strongly the more I have allowed myself to look for it in the everyday motion of life. I do not want to die knowing I took what simple pleasures I have been given for granted; this gift of life given to me by Him is not to be wasted away. The chapters are being written each step that is taken.
In the recesses of the forest once more, I see shadows in my peripheral vision. They try to grasp me and enlist fear in my heart, but the music overpowers any chance for negativity to take hold of my once-paranoid being. It's like being latched into a pleasant form of simplicity, where complexities, though important at times, can be tossed aside and looked at later. There is nothing more vastly rewarding than the mother nature that blankets me and puts me to sleep in her arms. Her gentle kisses bring a smile to my face, where it is locked in place and cannot fade. I've been sheltered somewhere, lost and found and lost again, in a state of flux, under her canopy. I am safe here.
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| | Posted 1/12/2009 12:40 AM - 1 View
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